I think it’s safe to say that most people in committed relationships expect their partners not to cheat on them.
So if we expect this from our partner, then why do so many of us cheat?
Infidelity is a threat to every romantic relationship. I’ve witnessed in my own life how an affair can rob a once happy relationship of its joy and very identity.
Perel is a leading thought leader in modern day relationships and romance. Here are 19 of my favorite Esther Perel quotes that are guaranteed to make you rethink what you know about love and relationships.
Esther Perel Quotes That Get To The Heart Of Life, Love, And Loss
1. “When you pick a partner, you pick a story, and that story becomes the life you live.” – Esther Perel
2. “Love is a verb. Not a permanent state of enthusiasm.” – Esther Perel
3. “Instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with that entails edits and revisions.” – Esther Perel
4. “To apologize — there is nothing weak about it. Whoever apologizes first is always the stronger one.” – Esther Perel
5. “Tell me how you were loved, and I will tell you how to make love.” – Esther Perel
Tell me how you were loved, and I will tell you how to make love. https://t.co/2bVa83f6YF
— Esther Perel (@EstherPerel) August 22, 2017
6. “Allow yourself to feel more deeply the otherness of your partner. You never really possess each other. You just think you do.” – Esther Perel
7. “Divorce is not the end of a family; it’s a reorganization.” – Esther Perel
8. “Trust is the active engagement with the unknown. Trust is risky. It’s vulnerable. It’s a leap of faith.” – Esther Perel
9. “The idea of finding the one is problematic for relationships.” – Esther Perel
10. “The #1 public health crisis in the US is loneliness.” – Esther Perel
11. “Ultimately, it’s the quality of our relationships that will determine the quality of our lives.” – Esther Perel
12. “From the dark places, we often get a new sense of priorities.” – Esther Perel
13. “When our ability to consider + understand the feelings of others decreases, our relationships suffer.” – Esther Perel
When our ability to consider + understand the feelings of others decreases, our relationships suffer. https://t.co/K5uu0WbVV5
— Esther Perel (@EstherPerel) August 6, 2017
14. “We used to divorce if you were really unhappy. Today we divorce because we think we could be happier.” – Esther Perel
15. “To understand trust, you have to understand distrust. To understand fidelity, you have to understand infidelity.” – Esther Perel
16. “Self-confidence and self-acceptance increase with age. Both help us claim our desire and feel entitled to it.” – Esther Perel
Self-confidence and self-acceptance increase with age. Both help us claim our desire and feel entitled to it. https://t.co/Vn4SymGafb
— Esther Perel (@EstherPerel) August 23, 2017
17. “In the aftermath of an affair, I often tell a couple: Your first marriage is over. Would you like to create a second one together?” – Esther Perel
18. “Flirting is about playing with possibility, not going in for the kill.” – Esther Perel
19.”Criticism and bickering in a relationship can feel like low intensity, chronic warfare. Kick the bickering, stat.” – Esther Perel
I admire Esther Perel for her brilliant insight into topics that most people are too uncomfortable or embarrassed to explore.
To learn more about Perel’s thoughts on marriage and infidelity I strongly recommend her book The State Of Affairs.
I’ll leave you with her amazing Ted Talk where she explains exactly why we should rethink infidelity. Enjoy!
Did you enjoy these quotes? If so, check out my collection of Tara Brach quotes. She’s one of the leading meditation teachers in the world today and has tremendous insight that we can all learn from.